Thursday, September 30, 2010

Religious literacy poll...

American Christians and Jews know less about their religion than Atheists!  (Follow this link)

Amazing article!
I love it, am not surprised by it and just goes to show you that faith without knowledge goes a long way in creating ridiculous behavior.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The ORIGINAL first blog entry (Aug 10th)

It somehow got lost in cyberspace.  So weird...I can see the original blog but I can't edit it or get access to it.
Well, so as to honor every single freaking thing I do (because it's all so earth-shatteringly meaningful), I am posting my ORIGINAL first blog post sent out to the world on August 10th.  By doing this, I feel I can now move on emotionally from that blog and love THIS blog because now, see, none of my precious words have fallen to the ground, unheard.  Here it is:


"Oh, it's just me and I'm only creating a new blog.  I hope that reading this provides loads of entertainment.  Not for me, of course, but for YOU!
I can't say all I really want to say in this forum because frankly, folk know me.  Shhh...(said in a whispered tone)...but if I put my thoughts out there and don't TELL anyone that I have a blog...now THAT would be a good time.  I think THAT'S what we'll do so that no one will know.  And then we can tell all kinds of things about all kinds of events in our life (my life) and no one will be the wiser.
My dilemma, then, is finding my voice.  I mean, I don't even know you, dear reader, so I have no idea how to address you.  Or how you found out about this blog, or if I should tell you about myself.  I don't know what style of writing to use.  I don't know what voice to use.  I don't know WHICH of my voices to use...
Oh, this is awfully uncomfortable--talking to myself about you and you're listening, but maybe you aren't listening and I'm just talking to myself!
It's 11:13.  One of my favorite times.  11:13 is right after 11:12, of course, which has been a really important and pivotal set of numbers for me for a long time.  A few years back, 11:12 took the place of 11:11's importance in my life.  It was 11:11 for a while, man.  Ah, good times.
Nighty, night, and I hope I remember to deal with you tomorrow.
Shalom all you mothah fuckahs!
McJewcy

Beer

I went to Lucky's last night to watch open mic night and support our local musicians and I met the cutest little bartender whose favorite beer is Smithwick's.  Mine is too.  He told me how he dated various chicks from the Flying Saucer because the Flying Saucer, for those that don't know t,  has a HUGE selection of GOOD beer--hundreds of imports!  So, he confessed that his weakness has been those Flying Saucer girls because "girls that know lots about beer are sexy."  I feel the same way about boys who know lots about beer.  The poor lad--getting free beer because your girlfriend works at the best bar in town is an extra added bonus that not too many of us could say no to.  Obviously, this beer whore boy and I both fell instantly in love but, alas,  he's too young for me (not really).  So,  I had to break his heart tenderly but not before...nevermind.
They had no Smithwick's at Lucky's but Mr.Cute Beer-Whore Bartender Boy recommended Samuel Smith Imperial Stout!  I've had it before but had forgotten about it.  MAN, WHAT A BEER!  So sweet!  I could literally feel the goodness entering into my bloodstream to spread its magic happiness all through my body!  AWEsome!
Here's all about Imperial Stouts:
http://allaboutbeer.com/learn-beer/styles/stylistically-speaking/2010/07/imperial-stout-8/

Fall Rocks!

It's a play on words, in case you didn't pick up on that.
It's fall which always, for some reason, reminds people of...memories.  Falling in love, new beginnings, being refreshed in every sense of the word...it seems fall is pivotal--even more so than spring--in inducing a sense of newness and refreshing in everything around us.
So, though fall is usually a time when I'm so excited about all the unseen-but loved-by-me-very-much-newness, this fall has brought about a newness I'm not used to--struggling through a mire of self-disdain.  It's not refreshing, really.  It's a landslide of self-hatred, friends, and it's not pretty. I haven't been enjoying it.  For those that don't know me:  I'm like everybody else in that I struggle with low self-esteem sometimes.  I do have moments of insecurity here and there that I quickly shoo off, ignore, and purposely forget like a stranger you pass on the street that you don't want to think about after you've passed them because it's silly and obsessive.  I deal with my self-esteem for what it is--a clear case of amnesia rooted in the fact that I've temporarily forgotten how much The Creator of Me loves me and is for me.  Period.  There are different reasons my amnesia kicks in so I always try to sort out why it's happening when it comes up.  I quickly seek (until I find) "the catalyst" so that I can move on to sanity and correct perspective.  Sometimes I'll hate on myself (not in a brutal or super-self destructive way, mind you) for a few minutes, a few hours or even a few days (especially when my "little visitor" makes me feel awful for the serious lack of self-control I have over my life when I suddenly want to cry for no reason).  Usually, though, as a general rule of thumb, I'm an obnoxiously bright, deeply-in-love-with-me person (because I KNOW The Creator of Me loves me and is really into me).  But I do have my moments.
Well, this last little "moment" has gained momentum. It's turned from a moment to a lingering pain in the butt, rearing its ugly head more and more often.  I had a big breakthrough last night and I can see we've rounded the bend, but it's not quite over.  Just almost over.  I know this rain of "fall rocks" on my head has been following me around because I'm not dealing with the catalysts.  I've had a few easily identifiable possible candidates for catalysts in the last couple of years:

1)  I had a second divorce.  FYI:  For those of you who don't know, this can be horrible on the self-esteem.  (This was not the divorce from my Babay Dadday, btw).  One realizes how far behind you are on the learning curve when something like that happens.  I'm thankful that it did happen because it was EXACTLY what I needed to grow up and get in those final learning lessons concerning marriage as an institution compared to what healthy partnerships are supposed to be. (That's another blog, dear.)  But how HUMBLING for a woman of my superior strength and wisdom to end up in a stupid relationship.  Oh, the horror!  It's a cause for taking a major humble pill.  And that's OK.  I have a life-long prescription for humble pills which I swallow by the bucket fulls.  I'd rather humble myself than find myself humbled.   If "pride cometh before a fall,"  I'd rather just stay on the ground so I don't have to deal with those ugly scars and the search for cute bandaids.  I'm thankful for the lessons I gained from the experience, thankful that it only lasted a year, thankful, thankful, so it's really not a huge sore spot.  I don't THINK it's a catalyst, because I'm not really hurt from the situation, but it's a possible culprit for quiet little nagging, subtle lies.

2)  A year and a half after the breakup, I got into a fun little fling with a boy 10 years my junior.  The boy, in addition to being cute and harmless, was 30 years my junior mentality.  I was able to set the ground rules and frankly tell him that he was not long-term anything but merely entertainment for me for the moment.  I felt little obligation to do anything other than have him around when I wanted him around (or didn't want him around) and clearly told him from the beginning that when I was done, I was DONE.  He did obey, but he had stupid, sneaky issues that caused the clean-up after the split to be messier than I would have liked.  Not messy for him--messy for me.  I was able to get rid of him easily enough, but there was backlash.  It wasn't sad backlash because I missed him.  I didn't miss him and was glad to be rid of him.  I was thankful for the fling into a drama-free emotional vacuum for a while, but having to be so hardened, so shallow, so one-track-minded, so unattached yet attached did a number on me, changed my makeup in some way, and did have a bigger impact on my life than I thought it would.  It's amazing that such trivial, silly things turn into HUGE things in your life when you're meant to live life abundantly and beautifully.  It seems some people are able to get away with shallow relationships, and ridiculous antics, but I've noticed I'm on a short cosmic leash and I'm not able to get away with stuff.  When I get into a goofy relationship (I haven't had very many at all), I get quick repercussions.  I know the quick jerking of the chain only happens because I'm loved by My Pappa G-d so much but I will admit that in the more base part of me, I do long for meaninglessness sometimes--or more accurately stated, I want minimal to no consequences for foolishness.

3)  I've gained about 30 pounds in the last 2 years.  That right there, my friends, I've realized, is the kicker.  Why has this happened?  Simple. I'm eating too much and not exercising enough.  I don't care how much I try to spiritualize things, if THIS girl doesn't feel gorgeous, she's not happy.  There are lots of ways to feel gorgeous, mind you, but if I feel frumpy, it's not a good thing in my world.
I think some of those old tapes I heard playing when I was young are still stored away in a basement in my brain. It's good all this has come up because I find myself foolishly listening to the tapes--no bueno.  The light has now been turned on in this hidden basement, so soon we'll have a raid on it and burn those *%^$ing tapes like a preacher at a tent meeting!
The biggest lie I've been feasting on from the old tapes is that it's a shallow, vain thing to be so focused on one's weight and looks--that we do too much of that in America.  I've been hearing this whole thing is cutural, my obsession with not feeling good.  Weel, just last night, I called bullshite on that.  You know, I KNOW what makes me feel good.  I know when I'm not taking care of myself, and when I'm not, I'm not gonna feel good.  It's just math.  It's not the culture, it's not some breakdown in my soul that is causing me to obsess about what I look and feel like.  It's not my sinful vanity and self-interest.  I don't feel good because I'm not BEING good to myself and my inner woman knows it.  She is mad at me for being so bad to me and now we all need to stop being mad and being at war with each other  and do what feels good--get moving!  So, I went back to the gym last night, ran my butt off, lifted weights, and realized I'm over this season of whatever foolish mindset I was in.  We're getting back into being who we are:  AWESOME.

4)  (This one is not a catalyst, but a branch of the catalyst that causes me to shut down in my heart)  I'm not certain about being in a relationship with someone--now or any time soon.  I know I won't get married again, but being semi cut off from the idea of getting involved with anyone "anytime soon" doesn't work well for me.  I'm too social, I love people, I love dudes, I love friends, I love giving and sharing, and having fun, and for me to be cut off from the idea of a a relationship is kind of disjointed and feels like an imbalance.  A healthy relationship is a joy and wonderful addition to life!  Why cut it off?  It doesn't make me happy cutting off the idea of happy fun, that's for sure.  Maybe I need to get happy with the idea of just being alone for a long time but I also think I need some healing.

Anyway, that's my confession.
I'm "getting away from it all" (in bits and pieces as time allows) with my Creator/Lover so He can give me some proper perspective.  I've got some stuff to deal with, but I enjoy dealing.  I've just got to find the time!!  Maybe while I'm out on the track!  ;)
Send out positive vibrations and prayers so that forward motion turns into forward momentum!!
Much love to you!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Art, Art, Good for your heart, the more you see it, the more...

No, that's silly.
I am very excited about what we're doing next--creating a grass roots way for ALL artists in Columbia to connect and market themselves!
C.A.N. (Columbia Artists' Network) is going to be a group of big fun for everyone!  You'll see more on the blog we're creating for C.A.N.  Coming soon, to a computer screen (and real-life encounter) near you!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

In the beginning...

There was blog.  And the words were on the blog and the words were the blog.
Allow me to introduce myself to...myself, as I am the only one reading this right now.
I am a single mother of four children.  They're cute, they're awesome.  They're a LOT of work--work I enjoy, but nonetheless, WORK.  Serious work.  Life-changing work.  Work that will change YOUR life because if I ensure they are raised well, they will not become a burden to you and will not be breaking into your car to pay for the crack they need so urgently.
So, consider your step into my world as a step into YOUR future.  Mark my words:  These little monkies o' mine will change the world.  Maybe not the entire world DIRECTLY, but their lives' influence will reverberate throughout the planet.  And not just in a general, ethereal, hippy-new agey way but tangibly.  Only, you may not see all that.  You may not see how your life gets directly affected by the awesomeness of my kids walking in their destinies.  So, because you may not see all that, you can not prove me wrong and so by default I win and my kids are awesome.  Ok, so the end of that.
Next order of business:  Besides being "mom", I am also TerriMac.  Like one name--TerriMac.  My name is Terri Lynn McLaughlin (note the word "Laugh" in my name--I like it and I show it off superiorly) but everyone who knows me well enough to remember me calls me TerriMac.  I constantly remind the children (when I'm done "momming") that I'm no longer "Mom" but I'm now TerriMac and TerriMac needs a freaking break.  Go to bed.  It's 8 o'clock.  I don't care if you're 15 years old.  Go to bed.  It's 8 o'clock and TerriMac needs "downtime".  I relish the idea that "downtime" will be a major word in the vocabulary of my kids when they are parents.  It'll be such a victory.  I will hear them pull that word out of their parent vocabulary bank (the bank into which I deposited throughout their childhood) and it will make me happy to know I've set them up with a great investment--a nightly, self-serving, healthy iniquivocable priviledge that they will get to enjoy all the days of their child-rearing lives.  Though they question me now, they'll thank me later for establishing the idea that 8pm is a perfectly normal bedtime for a high schooler.  It is...  You parents for which this idea is too late to implement:  Don't hate my because I'm beautiful.
So, more about me?  Oh, yes, I can do that!  Bullet points:

  • I'm a great mom that believes the only way to be a great mom is to try to get away from my kids a couple of  times a week.   (It doesn't always happen, of course, and trips to the grocery store DON'T count)  I was a stay-at-home mom for most of the 9 years that I spent married to my "Babay Daddeh".  I worked as a Spanish interpreter, but mostly focused on my kids and the Babay Daddeh.  I am grateful for the mental/spiritual space I walked in at that time, but now I have my own life--3 great jobs (Spanish interpreter, Spanish teacher, and property manager), friends that are bosom friends of more than 10-20 years, and a great town in which to let my hair down. 
  • I like to dance in public, as I walk down the road, in the middle of the day.  It stirs things up.  It frees folk to see someone, ANYONE walking in freedom.  I don't care what the passers-by say and I don't do it for anyone but me (and the One that has fooled me into believing He's my Creator and that He loves me).   
  • I'm highly independent and I am a resource for wise counsel to many folk I know.  I love people, but I tell it like it is to those I love.  I am willing to say what I think the truth to be even if I know they will get offended.  My friends know that. I'm the voice of reason balanced with love that is sometimes mushy, but that's only a bonus.  
  • I love to network people together.  I love to help people starting a business to brand themselves and really define where they are going, what they are doing.  
  • The knowledge that I am very much watched over, very much lived in, very much smothered in kisses by a Being that made me while being Very Much In Love with me is the most amazing realization I have come into in this life.  I don't Believe I'm loved.  I KNOW I'm loved.  I experience a real Entity talking to me, revealing Itself/Himself to me.  When your Creator pushes your buttons, there's no confusion over who's the Button Pusher.  No confusion--Only love and awesome good times--Total acceptance, total understanding.    I'm just a person, just a chick, and anything other than G-D LOVES ME is, frankly, too complicated.  My goal is to be made perfect in the understanding (by personal EXPERIENCE AND FEELING IT) that G-d loves me.  

That's it.
That's me in a nutshell.
So, now you know.  Will you join my life-party and hang out with me? I hope so.  I'm committed to a good time and think we'll have one together!
Much love!
Tmac-alcious